1. A day that makes people who cannot be happy for people who are happy feel uncharacteristically alone, sometimes sick and always cynical.
2. One more day for anti-Corporate-America hipsters to hiply ignore or pretentiously bash.
3. A simple excuse, based in obfuscated tradition, to be extra cute and nice to someone or everyone you care about.
People forget that macaroni and glue in the shape of a heart is still the best Valentines Day present most anyone would want.