Beat Box – n – beet baux

The origin of all the most grandiose and baller beats in the land that have ever, currently do, and will ever exists.

My beat box drops it like it is significantly hotter than it should be when being handled without oven mitts or some other heat reducing hand protecting substitute.

Published in: on July 3, 2007 at 2:01 pm  Comments (2)  

Hilarisy – n – hill-air-is-ee

Like Heresy but slightly more amusing.

Yonder a hilaritic receives chuckles and belly giggles for his hilarisy. Though I admit, the one about Jesus as a bad scarecrow was well done, nevertheless this poison must be stopped.

Published in: on April 2, 2007 at 10:14 pm  Leave a Comment  

The – art. – tha, thee

An introduction to other, seemly more important, words.

“The thinks things would tumble without him” said A “but he’s just popular because he’s a suck up, kissing ass and inflating egos. When those words get tired of the implied spotlight of individuality and uniqueness, they will come crawling back to us more generalized articles. I promise you That – and you too An”

Published in: on February 25, 2007 at 4:59 pm  Comments (3)  

!!! – int. – eeee, eep, or eek

1. A noise made mostly by human females and occasionally sissy type males (see: The Editor and Author) during times of excitement, tickle based battles, and/or when in close visual range of a baby (pronunciation limited to “eee” in final situation).
2. A noise made by most anyone walking through a decent surprised based haunted house and/or a very dark and exceedingly frightning basement, independent of age or gender.
3. An Internet emoticon used to supplement genuine surprise or excitement – usually used while staring with saddening apathy at the screen.

!!!(Similar to a baby sighting), a ticklesaurus!, !!! (Similar to being tickled)

Published in: on February 25, 2007 at 4:42 pm  Comments (1)  

Net Neutrality – n. – net nu-traal-idy

The pervasive force keeping the Internet the last true bastion for unadulterated freedom of speech.

The failure of Net Neutrality leads to one and one thing only; American society (because of its dependence on the Internet) will forever take it from behind via the cable companies. If you won’t fight for Neutrality, then I suggest getting your best lube ready – these companies have some mighty big tubes and like it rough. Oh and they dont like to cuddle.

Editors note: Visit Save The Internet, watch the video, learn what the heck I’m talking about, and help make net neutrality the law.

Published in: on February 24, 2007 at 5:02 pm  Leave a Comment  

Diamond – n. – die-mund

1. A rock that defies the laws of supply and demand.
2. Among the hardest materials in nature.

What better way to say I-will-oppress-Africans-for-our-faux-eternal-love than with a diamond?

Editor’s note: I want a girl who thinks a cracker jack ring is meaningful so long as it symbolizes something real. Ridiculously romantic presentation pending, of course.

Published in: on February 19, 2007 at 11:28 pm  Comments (4)  

Cockney T-Rex – n. cok-nee t-rex

A ruder, more amusing, and seemingly more down to earth subset of the British T-Rex who don’t own monocles or top hats, but instead are often seen with or employed as a chimney sweeper.

Cockney T-Rex are even worse for kissing. (ref: British T-Rex)

Published in: on February 19, 2007 at 11:17 pm  Comments (1)  

Light Weight – n. –lite-waat

An often-derogatory term for some who becomes intoxicated significantly quicker than the others around them.

With drinking tending to ultimately have being-drunk as its goal and the price of not-crap tasting beers, it’s still a modern mystery as to what the downsides really are for light weights.

Published in: on February 16, 2007 at 1:53 am  Comments (5)  

Valentines Day – n. val-en-tiin-ss dey

1. A day that makes people who cannot be happy for people who are happy feel uncharacteristically alone, sometimes sick and always cynical.
2. One more day for anti-Corporate-America hipsters to hiply ignore or pretentiously bash.
3. A simple excuse, based in obfuscated tradition, to be extra cute and nice to someone or everyone you care about.

People forget that macaroni and glue in the shape of a heart is still the best Valentines Day present most anyone would want.

Published in: on February 14, 2007 at 1:49 am  Comments (4)  

Infansum – v. In-fan-soom

The act of eating deliciously cooked babies. Usually observed on holidays.

During the 1950’s the high priest Zorlorgak often invited member of the U.S. senate to infansum in his not-so humble abode.

Latin roots: Comesum, Infantia

Published in: on February 13, 2007 at 11:53 pm  Leave a Comment  

Love Nibble – n. luv ni-bl

Light pressure applied by the teeth to parts of a significant others epidermis, usually, but not limited too, lips and ears.

If they’re bleeding, it probably wasn’t a love nibble. See instead, Kinky and/or Assault.

Published in: on February 13, 2007 at 11:38 pm  Comments (1)  

Longneck Dinosaur – n. lawng-nek dyn-o-so-rrs

A type of dinosaur that is characterized by its exceptionally long neck. These dinosaurs are notoriously sappy when it comes to love and other such cute subjects including caring for small animals and notions of family and friendship.

Awww, Longneck dinosaur, this puppy you gave me is just too cute, and dinner was wonderful tonight!

Published in: on February 13, 2007 at 11:35 pm  Leave a Comment  

Syntax – n. sin-tax

1. Context’s highly degenerate flunky in the arguments for why humans are able to communicate effectively.
2. Rules made for poets to break.

Honey? What was the syntax on that can of tofu? I don’t feel so well.

Published in: on February 12, 2007 at 10:05 pm  Leave a Comment  

British T-Rex – n. brit-esh t-rex

A T-Rex who sips tea, regularly wears a monocle, and has never been seen without a top hat. The only breed of t-rex where its entire set of kill targets found the creature smashingly charming even as it ripped them in half.

As charming as British T-Rex’s are, their diet of raw meat combined with their lack of proper oral hygiene often makes them terrible for kissing. Their razor sharp teeth are another negative factor in this situation – making love nibbles almost impossible.

Published in: on February 12, 2007 at 9:54 pm  Comments (3)  

Tyrannosaurus Rex (T-Rex) – n. tie-ran-ii-sore-us rex

1.    A large bipedal reptile, standing several stories tall, that lived during the Cretaceous period.
2.    The most badass and/or kick ass dinosaur ever. He/she/this punk killed shit like it was its job. No minimum wage crap either, he was killing like he was freaking getting paid six figures to do so, let me tell you what. Shoot, that kid put in so much overtime in his era he was pissing the unions off because he was making them look bad; no lie.

There are no recorded T-Rex sightings in modern history. This is likely due to the fact that they have become such efficient killing machines, rivaling ninjas, and trumping bears, that any spectator to the habits of a T-Rex has also become a welcome guest in its stomach. T-Rex poop is probably a higher percentage human than anyone really wants to admit.

Published in: on February 12, 2007 at 8:26 am  Comments (2)  

Dinosaurs – n. die-n-o-so-rrs

The single most awesome set of creatures ever to exist on this planet.

Hey, what’s that over there? DINOSAURS!?! Omg omg omg omg omg!

Published in: on February 11, 2007 at 1:40 pm  Leave a Comment  

Procrastinating – v. pro-krast-in-a-ting

The vilest set of actions a person can take against themselves without resorting to violence. A sort of mental subterfuge that often leads to a sense of emptiness and failure.
Antonym: getting anything of value, what so ever, done.

Procrastinating is one night stand-ish; it usually feels pretty good at the time, with only a few parts of your brain warning against it, but the next day you feel awful. And you itch a little down there – but its probably nothing.

Published in: on February 11, 2007 at 1:38 pm  Leave a Comment  

Web Comic – n. web com-ik

Often similar to syndicated comics found in newspapers (archaic) or magazines (almost archaic) in frequency but intensely more varied in scope of topics, skill (see: better*) and style. Pandering to niche audiences is common and regularly a part of the source of success. Included in the sources for success, and often considered to be among the most important, is uninhibited editorial freedom.

I love web comics… bunches and bunches.

*sans Calvin and Hobbes

Published in: on February 11, 2007 at 1:32 pm  Leave a Comment