definitions

Beat Box – n – beet baux

Joshua — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 19:01:19 +0000

The origin of all the most grandiose and baller beats in the land that have ever, currently do, and will ever exists.

My beat box drops it like it is significantly hotter than it should be when being handled without oven mitts or some other heat reducing hand protecting substitute.

Hilarisy – n – hill-air-is-ee

Joshua — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 03:14:10 +0000

Like Heresy but slightly more amusing.

Yonder a hilaritic receives chuckles and belly giggles for his hilarisy. Though I admit, the one about Jesus as a bad scarecrow was well done, nevertheless this poison must be stopped.

The – art. – tha, thee

Joshua — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 21:59:03 +0000

An introduction to other, seemly more important, words.

“The thinks things would tumble without him” said A “but he’s just popular because he’s a suck up, kissing ass and inflating egos. When those words get tired of the implied spotlight of individuality and uniqueness, they will come crawling back to us more generalized articles. I promise you That – and you too An”

!!! – int. – eeee, eep, or eek

Joshua — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 21:42:46 +0000

1. A noise made mostly by human females and occasionally sissy type males (see: The Editor and Author) during times of excitement, tickle based battles, and/or when in close visual range of a baby (pronunciation limited to “eee” in final situation).
2. A noise made by most anyone walking through a decent surprised based haunted house and/or a very dark and exceedingly frightning basement, independent of age or gender.
3. An Internet emoticon used to supplement genuine surprise or excitement – usually used while staring with saddening apathy at the screen.

!!!(Similar to a baby sighting), a ticklesaurus!, !!! (Similar to being tickled)

Net Neutrality – n. – net nu-traal-idy

Joshua — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 22:02:18 +0000

The pervasive force keeping the Internet the last true bastion for unadulterated freedom of speech.

The failure of Net Neutrality leads to one and one thing only; American society (because of its dependence on the Internet) will forever take it from behind via the cable companies. If you won’t fight for Neutrality, then I suggest getting your best lube ready – these companies have some mighty big tubes and like it rough. Oh and they dont like to cuddle.

Editors note: Visit Save The Internet, watch the video, learn what the heck I’m talking about, and help make net neutrality the law.

Diamond – n. – die-mund

Joshua — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 04:28:12 +0000

1. A rock that defies the laws of supply and demand.
2. Among the hardest materials in nature.

What better way to say I-will-oppress-Africans-for-our-faux-eternal-love than with a diamond?

Editor’s note: I want a girl who thinks a cracker jack ring is meaningful so long as it symbolizes something real. Ridiculously romantic presentation pending, of course.

Cockney T-Rex – n. cok-nee t-rex

Joshua — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 04:17:41 +0000

A ruder, more amusing, and seemingly more down to earth subset of the British T-Rex who don’t own monocles or top hats, but instead are often seen with or employed as a chimney sweeper.

Cockney T-Rex are even worse for kissing. (ref: British T-Rex)

Light Weight – n. –lite-waat

Joshua — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 06:53:15 +0000

An often-derogatory term for some who becomes intoxicated significantly quicker than the others around them.

With drinking tending to ultimately have being-drunk as its goal and the price of not-crap tasting beers, it’s still a modern mystery as to what the downsides really are for light weights.

Valentines Day – n. val-en-tiin-ss dey

Joshua — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 06:49:01 +0000

1. A day that makes people who cannot be happy for people who are happy feel uncharacteristically alone, sometimes sick and always cynical.
2. One more day for anti-Corporate-America hipsters to hiply ignore or pretentiously bash.
3. A simple excuse, based in obfuscated tradition, to be extra cute and nice to someone or everyone you care about.

People forget that macaroni and glue in the shape of a heart is still the best Valentines Day present most anyone would want.

Infansum – v. In-fan-soom

Joshua — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 04:53:31 +0000

The act of eating deliciously cooked babies. Usually observed on holidays.

During the 1950’s the high priest Zorlorgak often invited member of the U.S. senate to infansum in his not-so humble abode.

Latin roots: Comesum, Infantia